Thursday, January 1, 2009
My laundry mocks me. It tells me I will never be a goddess of domesticity. It speaks to me of chaos, dirt and sweat that I am unable to manage.
My laundry mocks me. It tells me I will never be a goddess of domesticity. It speaks to me of chaos, dirt and sweat that I am unable to manage.
I am a homemaker by trade. I have been for all the years of my children's lives.
I am good at children, making them, sustaining them, loving them.
I am not so good at the other stuff. I am the Short Bus Martha Stewart. The laundry is just the beginning of my homemaking failures. I can't sew, not even a button. The one time I tried, I cried. That's what I do best in the face of adversity. I cry.
I never claimed to be made from steel, like Oprah.
My cooking is passable, but my Mr. is magnifique in the cooking department, much better than me. So, I let him be better. He likes it. I do not. It's the diff between a chef and a cook, the passion. The same goes for decorating, crafting, gardening and all of the other fierce skills it takes to be an accomplished homemaker.
Not so good.
For years now, I have floundered as a homemaker. Even though I have done it, I am ashamed to say, I have not done it well. And so one day while floundering I decided to try and make a go out of something that fills my tender heart with passionate fire.
I have written a novel.
There, I said it. I am officially out of the closet.
I have labored for a huge chunk of time over my story, sandwiching it in between every spare moment of my Mom life, carrying my trusty laptop to soccer practices, car lines, waiting rooms and the solitary hours of the day when my girls were at school.
It is done. And I will talk of my story in the days and months to come. But, for today, it is enough that I have said the words out loud. I have written a novel. I am declaring myself a writer, something in the past I was shy to claim, even when I wrote for the newspaper.
I have never worked harder on anything in my entire life, well maybe the 22 hours of excruciating labor it took to bring my first girl into this world. But, even then....
I have loved, loved, loved fashioning my words into a story, a lovely story that I hope to see out there in the world sooner than later. But, until then, my laundry still sits there, uncaring, shoving my insufficient housekeeping skills in my face.
My laundry really hurts my feelings.
*Note to All: The music, it is in me. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am unusually aggressive with my music opinions. So, with every entry, I will give you my music offerings, serious suggestions to download. And of course, we will begin with the greatest band in the world with the most brilliant singer, songwriter in the universe, aka, my boyfriend, Bono. This isn't my fave U2 song, but it's up there. It's called, "All I Want is You". Bono wrote this song for his new wife while on their honeymoon.
"You say you want diamonds in a ring of gold. You say you want your story to remain untold. But all the promises we make from the cradle to the grave, when all I want is you."
I would slobber at any man's feet who would write that sort of love schmooze for me. Yowsa. Listen to this song today. Pretend it's yours. My opinionated gift to you.
"You say you want diamonds in a ring of gold. You say you want your story to remain untold. But all the promises we make from the cradle to the grave, when all I want is you."
I would slobber at any man's feet who would write that sort of love schmooze for me. Yowsa. Listen to this song today. Pretend it's yours. My opinionated gift to you.
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2 comments:
A post like that should never be without a comment. A first post like that makes me want to go and say there has been a awful error on my blog and my first post is nowhere to be found.
This dear friend ... this is why you wrote a novel - your gift with words.
I am grateful that the blogosphere brought us together, and I get to read your beautiful words on my screen whenever I want!
Thank you for linking up on my Blogoversary, there are first posts that just need to be loved!
Screw the laundry. You're a great writer! I am new to this whole SAHM thing, and I've discovered that I suck at it. So I will follow you and be inspired to embrace my lack-of-inner-martha. :) Found you via BWOMM blogoversary link-up today.
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