I'm going away.
See, here's the problem. I've been trying to finish up my novel and I've written the whole thing, all the way up to THE END. But, it needs a good, final scrubbing so some super agent will find it utterly charming and irresistible.
And the scrubbing takes a big chunk of uninterrupted time and big chunks of uninterrupted time are something I never, ever get, no matter how many birthday candle wishes I blow out.
I try to wedge in my writing in between the cooking and the non-stop cleaning and the grocery shopping and the phone calls and the chauffeuring and the slapping fights, (that would be the kids, not me and or the hubby), and the busloads of company and the UPS guy, (a story for another day), and the Facebooking and the three girls and the non-stop PMS atmosphere around the house, and the dryer that NEVER STOPS BUZZING no matter how many times I yell for it to shut the hell up and the celebrity gossip sites and the dog and the cat and all the trillion and one things that keep me away from my beloved story.
Whew. I got tired just writing about it.
And even when I do find a few minutes, my creativity is zapped because I only have a few minutes.
Here's what I'm talking about. There was this time when we were with my brother and his wife and all the family down at this lovely, lovely beach house.
My sister-in-law has one of those fabulous friends, you know the kind who are always there for you and own a beach house. The fabulous friend lends my sister-in-law her beach house occasionally. And it's just this amazing house with these incredible wall-to-wall windows that show off the gorgeous view of the backyard which just happens to be the beach.
What a great friend. I wish I had friends like that.
But, anyway, on this one beach house visit, it was raining and that was OK, because we were in the amazing beach house and we decided to watch the rain fill up the beach while playing this board game, Scategories.
If you're not familiar with Scategories, it goes like this. You take a card with a list of categories, really random stuff like: a flower, a girl's name, a body part. It's a whole bunch of different topics and you roll this die made up of letters and whatever letter it lands on, you have a minute to write down items for each category that begin with the rolled letter.
Simple enough, right?
When we started the game, a few of the folk were grumbling that I might have an unfair advantage because they think my head is just swimming in words and I can just grab them from their highly compartmentalized drawers in my brain and win the game, hands down.
But, see there was a timer involved and when that happens, I panic and the words get all scrambled up in my brain until I'm left with nothing but dumbass.
Our die landed on the letter "R", a pretty substantial letter filled with a variety of options in R words. But, that timer was ticking and it got inside my head like it was this time bomb and I couldn't focus and everyone was scribbling away and I was just sitting there trying not to focus on the TICK, TICK, TICK.
It was pitiful
Something on a menu. I could have said roast beef, refried beans, rice. I said roadkill.
Characters in the Bible. I could have said Rebekkah, Rachel or Ruth. I said Roger.
Something that Grows.The folks around me said rain forest and roses. I said Roger.
And so it goes with my writing. When I'm forced into this little pinch of time, my creativity dams up and all I can hear is the TICK, TICK, TICK of the few seconds I've squeezed out and I'm left with a mess of Roadkill and Rogers.
And my novel deserves better than that. I deserve better than that.
So, for the next week, I'm devoting my whole life to my novel.
I want to get this out and it's not working with these bits and pieces of seconds when I am not Mother, Wife, Friend, Sister, In-Law, Entertaining Hostess, Laundress, and Blogger Queen.
There will be only me and my novel. No interruptions for the entire week.
It's only a week and I'll miss you Internet. But, I want you to know, I've come prepared. I've worked very hard this weekend in between trying to find Roger in the Bible, (he's not there), and I've written a few posts to keep you happy, so you never, ever drift away.
I'll post them every few days, so look for them.
And if you're really good while I'm gone, I have a surprise for you when I get back and I promise, you're going to love it!
So be good and I'll see you in a week.
Today's Doable Download: I have to go with my boys on this one. "Stuck In A Moment" by U2.
It was a lightbulb moment for me, a shock to my system. In a maudlin part of my life when I couldn't see the light and I couldn't figure out where I was going with the rest of my time on this planet, this song clicked on in my car and Bono told me, "You've got to get yourself together. You've got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it....And if the night runs over. And if the day won't last. And if your way should falter along this stony pass. It's just a moment this time will pass."
I know it's sappy, but I swear it's true. It was like Bono was whispering in my ear, telling me to suck it up and find my writer heart.
It's when my novel began.
I'll need him and the boys this week to help me stand up straight and carry my own weight, especially my writer's butt. It's getting to be quite a load to carry around.
Wish me Luck. I'll be back before you know it.