❉ Get my Hubby to stop wearing his khaki shirt with the large-mouthed bass emblazoned across the back. He wears it entirely too much because honestly, I think it makes him feel, you know, more mannish with the wildlife and all on it, but . . . it's a LARGE MOUTH BASS across his BACK. The girls tell him outright how ungodly it is. I prefer more subtle tactics like, "I'm not sure khaki is your color. I think you're more of a primary color person." I know I could lose it in the mountainous pile of laundry, but that would be dirty pool and I don't do dirty pool.
❉ Advise the young mom at school about good bras. This is a biggie, the hardest one to accomplish since it's going to be really tough for me to walk up to her, having never met her and say, "Excuse me, but get thee to Victoria's Secret and ask for the bra fitter right away." This poor girl has the worst bras known to man. She must buy them at Big Lots in the clearance aisle, a dozen for a dollar, because, when I say this girl is going to poke her eye out one of these days, I mean . . . seriously. I see her walking down the hallways and she is just abouncing and not in a good way and I'm thinking, why don't any of her friends step up and take her to the mall? They are not good friends.
Everyone should have a bra fitting. I remember the first time the bra fitter approached me when I was headed to the dressing room with some underthings in hand. She asked me if she could help select the perfect bra for me and I was all, sure, why the hell not. I'm always up for a new experience. I got a little creeped out, though, when she came into the dressing room with me and started adjusting and sizing me up. I started thinking, maybe she was just POSING as a bra fitter. Maybe she was really some weirdo getting her jollies on and I was the innocent victim of a phony bra fitter! It's happened before.
❉ Work on my triceps. Because nothing says, "I've given up" more than triceps that keep waving long after you've stopped. If I don't tighten up those triceps, I might as well start wearing mom jeans and Celine Dion concert t-shirts, tucked in.
❉ Spread the word that there is NO WAY that those people on the eHarmony commercials really had to use a dating site to find someone. I mean, every single, dang one of them is movie-star beautiful. I think one guy might even be Jake Gyllenhal's twin brother.
❉ So, here's my last one, my most serious one. I will, I will, I will get my novel out there and shop it around. It will happen. I will work fast and furious, vowing to ignore My Hubby, the girls, the dogs, the house and anything else that gets in the way of my goal. I swear this to you, Internet. I will do it. This is my year. I can so feel it in my bones . . . and stilettos.
Today's Do It Download: My last Holiday Song--Johnny Otis' "Happy New Year Baby" a big, bluesy song that just sums up the best of New Year's resolutions. "I'm gonna give up chasin' women, whiskey-drinkin' too, stop my bally-hooin', yeah I'm done mistreatin' you. Happy New Year Baby. Happy New Year to You....I'm gonna give you all my money to buy the things you choose. I'll even steal and borrow and pawn my clothes and shoes to keep you happy, baby, happy the whole year through....If you love me sweet and pretty, I'll buy you a big brass bed. If I catch you cheating, I'll fill you full of lead...Happy New Year Baby. Happy New Year To You."