Someday iPad, We'll Be Together
Monday, April 5, 2010

Well, I just went to upload the pictures from our Easter and discovered no memory card in My Hubby's camera. 

 Moments we'll never be able to recapture, vanishing into the air right before my eyes as My Hubby peered into that empty hole and said, "Huh, would you look at that? Well, so much for all those hundreds of poses."

So, I guess we just "pretended" to take pictures.

I don't know how one doesn't notice the flashing message that says NO MEMORY CARD. I guess it must be the same sort of blindness certain people have when it comes to the location of the hamper. 

Soooo—deep cleansing breath—on to better things. 

I am now the proud owner of one of these!

I got an iPad! I did not, for the record, get Steve Jobs. Although, my Hubby would probably weep with joy if he could own Steve, since he owns everything else in the Mac universe.

I'd LIKE to say that, once again, Steve Jobs has astounded the world with another revolutionary gizmo. I'd LIKE to say that this man is uncanny in the way he dreams up everything before all the other techie geniuses have even the slightest of ideas. Sorry Bill Gates, but I guarantee even YOU have an ipod you keep closeted under the confines of your preppy blazer in the pocket of that starched shirt. 

I'd LIKE to say I love it.
But, I can't. 

You see, it hasn't been in my hands for more than 10 minutes.

A few weeks ago, I broke down and watched the TV show Modern Family. My Olivia had been raving about this show, but even more so, I was curious to check out the family of Phil and Claire and their 3 young 'uns. Far too many people have said to me, "You guys ARE those people."

For all I knew, Phil and Claire could have been Aryan ingrates with swastika tattoos and a taste for bad pop music. 

And quite frankly, I'm not sure which one of those life choices are worse. 

I mean I hate racism in all forms, but have you ever really listened to Britney's, "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman?"

Vile stuff, man. 

So, I was compelled to watch this show, to see how others perceived us. 

And okay, when Phil was writhing in pain from a kidney stone and Claire changed into something 
a little low cut and dotted on some lip gloss before the hot, 911 firefighters arrived, I could see 
perhaps an inkling of a resemblance. 

And yes, I could see shades of us when their pouty teenaged daughter was attempting for the 3rd 
time to get her driver's license and Claire was standing outside the DMV offering to give her middle school daughter a dance lesson as she broke into some sweet 80's dance moves. In fact, here's the Odawg, (who had driver's ed, 2 parents coaching her, a driving instructor and still managed to have 
2 car accidents in the first 9 days of driving), here she is being a smart-ass as she does a TERRIBLE imitation of my dance moves. 

Clearly, this in no way, is representative of my suave dancing skills.


But, when I saw Claire all a-hoppin' in front of the DMV, I thought, okay, mayyyybeeee, there's a tad bit of us in this comedy spoof.

But, then this week Phil said, "The iPad comes out on my actual birthday. It's like Steve Jobs and God got together to say, 'We love you Phil. '"  

And that's when I thought to myself, "Are the writers hiding in my house somewhere, taking notes?"


My Hubby has been drooling over this latest Mac toy since the second Travis put it in his hands. 

And yes, he has his own Apple guy. Need I say more?

My Hubby claims he's setting it up for me and figuring out all the bells and whistles so that he can explain it to me in my blonde-girl, short-bus language. 

It must have an awful lot of bells and whistles because I haven't seen it yet except for the 10 minutes I was allotted and even then it was whipped out of my hands because "I really don't want you getting confused before I can figure this all out and explain it to you."

This morning, I saw him lovingly eyeing the iPad that was, of course, sitting on HIS nightstand. 

He turned to me and said, "I probably should take it to work with me. You know, for your sake. I'm almost there when it comes to explaining it to you."

And my question to that is, how big of a moron does he think I am?

I've got a flight coming up in the near future. He had better be ready to talk the slow talk to me here very soon. It's the whole reason I wanted this thing in the first place. I need to distract myself from my fear of flying and I need another reason to ignore my kids on the flight. (They tend to get whiney after awhile.) My fingers are itching, just waiting to press that button that'll bring me to the online candy store of instant books. 

Gawd, I love technology. 

Oh, and if you're thinking I'm some ungrateful beyatch, complaining about my Hubby who's just being all gentlemanly by giving me first dibs on the iPad— think again, my friends. 

He's waiting for the 3-G iPad that comes out in a few weeks. 

Or in his words, "Yeah, I'm getting you the basic one because that's what you're about. I'm waiting for the good one, the Mac Daddy Ipad. Yeah, Baby!"

And yes, he really did add, "Yeah, Baby."

So, I'm in a word, basic and he's the Austin Powers of the Mac gang. 

In the meantime, I'm still waiting to say I love my Ipad.

Today's Dooo Ittt Download: Shiny Toy Guns, "Seasons Of Love"

Easter was a beautiful day, yesterday. 

Even though we have no pictures, I will remember. 

I will remember the sun peeking over the horizon as we sat on our lawn chairs, Father Mike raising the chalice in holy remembrance of this ancient day, a day that sealed the fate of our days after this life. I will remember my girls in their spring dresses, their hems dancing on the soft, cool breeze. I will remember the beach and chatter of girls, this life of ours surrounded by girls. I will remember the dolphins that sailed through the gulf waters, close to the shore, their dark fins popping up intermittently, just long enough to tease the flock of tourists who ran down the shoreline after them. I will remember watching the sun descend, a blood-orange perfect orb, as it disappeared beneath the edge of sea and sky. I will remember dining under the velvet sky full of stars, to the music of the tides, the night air, soft with spring. I will remember the long drive home, tired, sandy and content. I will remember this song playing on the radio at the moment I turned to look back at my slumbering daughters. I will remember the way my heart swelled with a taste of melancholy as I watched them, sisters all a tangle in their sleep with heads resting upon shoulders, long slender arms splayed across one another. I will remember how quickly we have gotten used to this empty space of one girl being gone. One extra spot in the car to stretch out in. I will remember that for too short of a time again, they were sisters of three. And in that moment, no one seemed to mind the inseparable closeness that was there in that car. For that moment, indeed, love was all around us. 

Love, feel love

Every question, every answer too
Ever constant, ever changing you
It's all memory in the sun
Or it's all in the darkness

Maybe it's all around
To see if we try
And maybe it's been inside of me
All this time

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love

Love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love


Rita Templeton said...

Sounds like you had a lovely Easter!

I haven't even researched the iPad because I know I'll want one and it'll be about a million and one years (or a cold day in hell, whichever comes first) before I'll ever get one. So I'm practicing iPad avoidance until I simply can't stand it any more.

... And after this post, I'm getting closer to that point. ;)

Dee said...

your pictures didn't save on the camera itself? How rude!

Glad you had a lovely Easter. :)

Rae said...

Yours is the blog I seek out daily. The one that moves me...speaks to me...makes me laugh- or makes me pause.
I almost felt as though I was there on the beach, watching your sweet family. How precious!
Kinda puts the silly 'ol iPad in perspective, doesn't it?

Jen said...

I'm so jealous! I want an iPad so badly, even though I made all kinds of fun of it when it was first announced. You will have to tell me what it's like once you get your hands on it. Is it better than sex? Seriously. I already know the answer.

By the way, your comment about Marie Osmond made me wet my pants so I had to post it on Tribal Blogs.

The Furry Godmother said...

Joann, birthday? When was it? Happy day, Blogling!

And for the record, I think"iPad" sounds like Apple's new sanitary lady product. Keep it away from the puppies.

Anonymous said...

I did think of your husband and his Mac obsession when we watched Modern Family. LOVE that show!

I take pictures and then do nothing with them - I am just really bad at that. I have about a year to upload to shutterfly - oops!

Joann Mannix said...

No Furry, no birthday. Just my Hubby having to claim every Mac product the second it hits the market. I am the recipient of his Apple lust. Yay for me!

Alexandra said...

I will have to stay tuned.

Thank you for your gift of your lovely words today.

And the picturs were so beautiful.

LisaPie said...

My husband is to receive his iPad today and he is beside himself. I am still on the fence about whether I NEED an iPad or a Kindle. When he brings his new iPad Mistress home and if he lets me touch it, I will let you know what I think.

We did the same thing with the pics one year for Christmas. Back in the day when you put film in your camera. A whole 36 picture roll of film in fact! And you know what? We all fondly remember that as the Christmas where we all looked fabulous. None of us had a hair out of place. Our makeup was perfection. The kids weren't fighting or fidgeting. Yeah, that's the Christmas there was no film in the camera. : )

Noelle said...

Odawg might be a smart ass but I'd kill for those legs!!!

Together We Save said...

So jealous!!

Bossy Betty said...

Congrats on your new toy!

Love Modern Family.

I am sure you're a great dancer!

pieters said...

glad you're feeling better. and i noticed that there was a memory card in the camera when daughter was doing the silly? life. how frustrating. i have a little ipad envy. my house only has ipods. don't you feel sad for us? and what about the ducks? was so hoping i would hear about the ducks. lauren

Rebecca T. said...

haha! Nice of him to "break it in" for you. I say steal it back and hide it :)

Lovely blog! Glad I found my way over here :D

Ally said...

I never even got the iphone. I want a new toy. As soon as I get my first paycheck (I've been unemployed for six months now) I'm treating myself to something other than a $10 manicure!

pieters said...

oh joann. the head board thing really was so easy. i would be more than happy to come help. heeee...see that? how i'm trying to become one of your guests? lauren

Tina L. Hook said...

My Hubs is a tech geek and trying to convince me to get one of these things too. I think it is because he would also like a basic preview before he moves on to the next best version. hysterical.

Stopping by from SITS.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about your pictures. I know how bad I'd feel. And I think I know how many times I'd remind my husband to make sure the guilt didn't go away...

This post was absolutely hilarious! The laundry hamper it!
When you get to use the iPad, let us know!

Lindsey Johnson said...

You should down load the entire album by Shiny Toy Guns.

By the way, Jared is a huge Apple fan as well. However he swears by the fact that apple will always come out with something bigger and better. I keep saying Apple will come out with a Text Book App. for the iPad for College students.

Anyway, I enjoy your blog so far. Can't wait to read more. And also, thanks for your advice I greatly appreciated it.

Thanks, Lindsey

Mrs. Ohtobe said...

Hey girlie - are you going to the PW book signing in Orlando next month?

Joann Mannix said...

Mrs. Oh,

As much as I'd love to, no. I've got so much on my plate next month, the thought of it all makes my head spin. I'm sure it'll be awesome, though.

Stephanie Faris said...

I'm a writer, so I'm figuring no matter what computer I have, it probably needs a good keyboard. Not so sure the iPad has that.

I am, however, getting an iPhone in late June. It's like a tiny iPad!

Lula Lola said...

This whole post makes me jealous!
The ipad! I really want one! Your daughter in all her youthful prettiness, getting a chance to make fun of her very funny mom.
Easter at the beach! The whole thing makes me jealous!
It also makes me want to enjoy these few short years when we have the three brothers here with us!
Glad you had a great Easter! I will be making notes and putting up the dog next year for Easter!

Tonya said...

I saw an iPad at the Apple store this past weekend and I must admit that I was thinking about it. However, I'm having a hard time justifying it when I have a Macbook and an iPhone...but everything doesn't have to be justified, right? :-)

Visiting from SITS.

Kelly said...

God knows I LOVE my 7 year old iMac more than chocolate and if the iPhone wasn't exclusive to AT&T (HATE them!)I'd have me an iPhone in a New York Minute which must be a different kind of minute than a clock minute but I just don't "get" the iPad at this time. From what I can tell, and I'm probably totally wrong about this, is that it's just a bigger iPhone without the phone and iTune capabilities and it's got an e-book reader thrown in. For a hefty price. Nope, don't get it.

Lisa said...

Thanks for all the sweet comments on my has been crazy around here and I haven't been checking in like I should! Spring Break...and now we have tons of guests coming this week - as soon as one leaves, another is arriving, so I have been busy cleaning and trying to make my house look like civilized people live in it rather (I know you can relate!!)

I'll be back for a longer visit once things settle a bit.

Anonymous said...

Joann, hope you don't mind that I included your comment in today's post. It's hilarious!

duffylou said...

As you often say Joann, I'm late to the party, but I'd rather be late than miss it all together.

I'm sorry you don't have your pictures from Easter but you do have the memories. They are worth their weight in gold. You started my day with a smile. Thanks for that!

Anonymous said...

LOL....I loved that...every word! So glad you joined Friends Following Friends.

Oh and I think I'll take a page out of your husband's book and get my husband the iPad for his birthday and get the mac daddy ipad for mine! lol. Sounds like a plan to me!

Mom vs. the boys said...

I laughed my butt off at the episode of The Modern Family when the dad wanted an Ipad for his b-day! lol did you see that one, I think it was last week! I'm following from MBC!! stop on by my blog and see if it is for you

Unknown said...

Love it! You are so funny! Now following from FFF @ MBC!

Coupon Clippin Mommy said...

I'm stopping by and following from MBC!

natalee said...

Im dying for an ipad... ur sooo following from fff mbc come visit me1!!!!

Ann Harrison said...

I just may have to break down and seriously look into this whole iPad thing. (I feel like the only one not into it.)

Found you at FFF on MBC!

Ann Again... and again

Simply Stacie said...

Following you from FFF on MBC!

JaelCustomDesigns said...

Now following from MBC (FFF Group)
YOu can find me at

I love technology too, but I don't own an Iphone nor an Ipad. I was debating between the Iphone & Blackberry and went with the Blackberry Curve! I know, I know...

JennyMac said...

If you get the iPad, please let me borrow? Pretty please?

JennyMac said...

PS: That means I cant wait for you to let me borrow it. wink wink.

Tracie said...

I can't wait to find out how awesome the ipad is. Then I'll be jealous but that's ok. I'll try to be happy for you anyway.

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