Justin Bieber Is Single And Ready To Mingle And Lots OF Other Nonsense
Thursday, July 15, 2010

I am interrupting my scintillating tales of vacation for some breaking celebrity news. 

It seems Justin Bieber is single and ready to mingle. 


Huh. I didn't even realize he knew how to mingle yet. Last time I had the misfortune of
exposing my tender eardrums to one of his songs, he was still hitting those high girly notes. 
I thought he was still in the stage of passing the standardized prepubescent love note of, "Do 
you like me? Check the box. Yes or No."

I guess this big announcement means he broke up with the love of his life, his big round roller 
brush and blow dryer.

And since we're going to delve into the world of celebrity, why not talk about a few other self-
inflated folks while we're at it. 

I've been really trying to catch up on my TV watching, but alas I have been a dismal failure. 
And I hate that because TV makes the world go round. I've got no stories. No 
cocktail fodder. Nothing. I haven't even watched the season finale of Glee yet. I need to 
because my kids love to torture me with, "Oh Mom, I accidentally erased Glee from the DVR. 
Sorry." And as soon as I start to have a temper tantrum over how NO ONE EVER THINKS 
ABOUT MOM'S NEEDS, they yell, "Psyche!" and point at me falling over laughing as I stand 
there heaving with outrage.

They are horrid children.

I did snap on the telly while packing for my trip and had it tuned to the esteemed, high-brow, 
"Bethany Gets Married."

I only got through about 2 minutes of it though, because my Hubby walked into the room. He 
stopped in his tracks and froze with this wild-eyed look and yelled, "Please, I beg you! Make it 
stop! Whatever it is! Make it stop!"

Bethany's harpy voice had the same effect on him as that woman who claimed a few 
years back that Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight was causing her to have seizures. 

I muted the sound as I packed until the next show which was something about 2 celebrity 
photographers who used to be married but now aren't, but they still take pictures of windbag 
celebrities together. I really could care less about either of them and their unified love of 
skinny jeans, except for the fact that they were about to photograph Lindsay Lohan and she was 
something like 48 hours late and they were still all set up to shoot, waiting for her drugged out, 
worthless ass. 

And I had to watch it because I am constantly befuddled, (a great word) as to why there is such 
a fixation over this girl. 


The only thing she's got going for her, these days, is her leggings line. And sorry, I am a leggings
girl, but I am not going to spend 500 bucks on a pair of footless tights that I can get at Express—
2 for $22.00. It's a tiny bit of lycra for Heaven's sake. I'm guessing the leggings line isn't going to 
keep her in methamphetamines. 

And then there's her "acting." She seems to think yelling throughout her movies is the mark of 
a great actress. In my opinion, "Freaky Friday" was the last time she nailed a role. And since 
she was about 10 at the time, it was probably due to the fact that she was only into the 
primary child star drugs still—a few lines of coke here and there and some diet pills. 

The only thing I like about Lindsay Lohan is her fabulous train wreck lifestyle. I crave that 
kind of deliciousness. Like the time she tweeted that Al Gore was going to help her. 

Help her what? She never said. But, Lindsay I've got a little tip for you. If you're counting on 
Al Gore to help you, you might want to look to a different politician and do NOT glance 
John Edwards' way. Al seems to have piled a whole heaping bit of trouble on his well 
endowed lap, even if he is the father of the Internet. Who knows, he just might be the father 
of other things or people we weren't aware of. 

Billy Dog Clinton has been keeping his nose and other parts clean lately. Might want to check 
with him, if you're still looking for help for whatever it is. Maybe President Clinton can help 
you sell your leggings. 

And speaking of things that really bewilder and befuddle me—who was the blind and deaf 
person in charge who declared Cameron Diaz a good actress? That one is as baffling to me as 
why senior citizens insist on eating by 6:00. What else do the oldsters have to do? What is the 
big deal with 6:00? Is it some sort of old people secret deadline where they'll break a hip if they 
don't eat by the moment the clock chimes 6 times? 

I just don't get it. Same goes for Cameron. 

And then there's Bret Michaels. Oh, how I love that man! Can there be any more of a comeback 
kid? 

I want to clarify my love for this man, since so many of you wrote and said, "Eeewww." I don't
love him in a Bono-esque way. I love him in a "Go Bret. It's your birthday" kind of way.
Meaning, I'm in his corner, cheering him on.


I used to listen to his "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" on full blast with the top down on my convertible 
in the days when my hipbones jutted out of my skin and the day could be settled a good one with a 
fine song and the wind in my hair as I drove with no destination in mind— just a cheesy rock song
on the radio, the sky above me and the miles unfurling underneath my speeding tires. 

It was a given Bret would win Celebrity Apprentice. I mean if Donald had awarded it to the other 
person, (I have no idea who that was, since I've never seen a minute of that show), it would have 
been like Betty White getting mugged and pistol whipped. There are just some things that are 
forbidden in the order of the universe and even Bad-Ass, Bad-Haired Donald knows that. 

To me, the crowing moment of Bret's comeback was when he strolled out on the stage at the 
American Idol finale singing his song so sweetly with his cowboy hat and bandanna, obviously
 hiding the fact that his brain had just been cut open a few weeks before in an effort to save his life. 

I only wish the very best in this life to that man. He deserves it. 

Just a few more celebs and I promise I'll let you go. I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm the Martha 
of Blog World. Martha was our childhood next-door-neighbor for years and when Martha 
commenced to yapping, NOTHING would stop her motor mouth. My mom got to the point 
where if she had to go outside, she'd station one of us at the picture window. If Martha showed up, 
we knew to give my mom 2 minutes, no more, no less and then open the door and yell out to my 
mom that she had a long distance phone call. 

And since those were the days long distance calls were about 850 shmackers a minute, everybody
knew it didn't matter what you were in the midst of, you had to RUN to the phone to talk as fast as 
you could to the long distancer shelling out the big bucks.

The next one, very briefly is Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston. Back together again!

2 things: Do you think Sarah Palin has snuck a peek at that Playgirl? Man, I know I'd be 
thumbing through that kind of hot mess. That boy is just absolute gorgeousness even if he 
is a total lunkhead. 


And, how awesome would it be to sit at that Thanksgiving table this year? If Sarah wants to raise
funds for her Presidential campaign, which you know is coming, she should raffle off a seat at her 
turkey table. You'd be talking hundreds of thousands of dollars there. 

And now, on to Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem who ran off and got married this week.





I love Javier. I HATE that weasel faced Penelope. 

I can't even understand her. How can you attempt to be an actress on the American screen when 
you can't even champion the language? She mangles her English like I mangle Trigonometry, but 
at least I don't claim to be a rocket scientist. And I know, I know, she's won an Oscar. But she won 
an Oscar playing a Spanish chick. So, not too much of a stretch there. She sounds just like Charro 
to me and last I checked Charro wasn't known for her acting skills, just her hoochie coochie. 

But her horrible speaking skills and weasel face aren't even the real reason I have the ultimate 
contempt for her. No, my hatred is mired in the fact that she's a man thief. A mangled English 
man thief. 

In fact, I think she came to America, not so much to botch up the language in American movies, 
but to find herself a hot celebrity. Tom Cruise was a happily married man, well, at least pretending 
to be a happily married man when Penelope Cruz started whispering sweet mangled nothings in 
his ear and the next thing you know Nicole is better off. 

I mean, she's got Keith Urban now and a baby named Sunday. You can't ask for much more 
than that. 

Then Weasel Face moves on to Matthew Mcconaughey who was happily playing naked 
bongoes and being "just friends" with sweet Sandra Bullock. But as soon as the Spanish 
weasel came sniffing around, poor little Sandra is left to find a new friend. 

I didn't really hate Mangle Mouth so much in those days. I just found her annoying, like a 
Spanish speaking gnat buzzing around my ears. 

But then rumors started to fly around her and this man. 





And that, my friends, was when my rockem sockem robot boxing gloves came on. 

Supposedly the rumors were not true. She was just seen holding hands with Bono. And 
everyone knows, that Bono is a hand holder. He just is. I'm sure when I meet him and that day 
will come, as God is my witness, he will hold my hand. He'll have to. I won't be able to stand up 
without assistance. 

Bono was probably holding her hand all innocently while she was thinking all the while, "Ah 
jhes, I weell steeel jhees rhooock staaair fohm heese weef." 

But that didn't happen. Because Bono is too good for those kind of shenanigans. 

So, even though I like Javier, I'm glad he's legally got Weasel Face now. Hopefully, he can keep 
her from her thieving ways. 

If not, we'll just have to ship her off to Shutter Island with Angelina Jolie. 

Which leads me to my last but best piece of celebrity news:

Bono is healed! Can I get a Hallelujah from the crowd!

The band has a video up on their U2.com fan site. It's a hand-held simple film where each of them 
just gabs for a few seconds, apologizing to the US fans and proclaiming they're coming back. 
First Larry, then Adam and then the Edge who says their band has the best singer in the world. 


Duh.

And then it pans over to Bono. 

But not before Larry grabs the camera and cryptically says no one is indispensable. I'm telling 
you. Larry pushed him off the stage in a fit of pent up jealous rage. 

And Bono looks great. A bit on the thin side, but still great. He says he's been rebuilt by 
German engineering. (I've always though of Bono as a bionic man.) And, that he's ready to 
sing his way back into my heart. He didn't say that out loud, but I caught what he was thinking. 


And I am ready. Who knows, maybe among other excitement that next year will hold, U2 tickets 
will fall into my lap for a 4th time. Karma does seem to smile down on my stalkerish devotion.

Welcome Back Bono. The world can smile again. It is a beautiful day. 

Today's Definite Download:  "Kite" by U2. For Bono and Bret and lastly me. 

I've been kind of foundering in a puddle of self-doubt lately, an unpublished writer's greatest 
shackles. I don't want to go into any detail. This is just me, stepping away from the funny for a 
second to ask if you have a whisper of a prayer in your heart, can you reserve it for me? I know 
there are huge heartbreaking things in the world that need the call of an angel much more, but I'm 
just having a bit of a tough time lately and it is stealing away the bravery I have tried so hard to 
hold onto with all my might I know it will come back to me. I know. But right now I'm just 
shivering in the corner, letting my angst get the best of me. 

Kite, because I've got to let my kite go and trust that this life will take me up to the clear blue sky. 

Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

Cause hardness, it sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin . . . 

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know which way the wind will blow . . . 

Did I waste it?
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Roof top to the basement . . . 


Photobucket




59 comments:

Gigi said...

ok.

first. bret. really? that hat is not hiding his brain surgery. it's hiding the fact he's completely bald on top. and the bandana underneath the hat? that hides the underwhelming amount of hair he has left on the side.

second. tom and nicole did not break up because of penelope. they broke up because after filming the ever-so-craptastic Eyes Wide Shut, they couldn't face each other anymore. Could you?

alicia said...

You had me at Justin Bieber. What the crap does anyone see in him, let alone that abnoxiously bad noise that they call singing??

And you couldn't be more right about all the rest too. Especially Penelope. What do mean see in her? Really? Or Lindsay. Eewww.

Scraps said...

I definitely do NOT have Bieber-fever, ugh.

And, poor Lindsay, really, she started off so cute and kinda lost the child-star lottery starting with the hot mess set of parents she has. Supposedly Robert Shapiro is trying to help her, now.

Had to laugh at your hubby's reaction to Bethenny--I think Todd ranks her voice right up there with Fran Drescher;-)

lvankuiken said...

I agree with everything and everyone you wrote about. I just have one question - what about that husband stealing, blood drinking ho, Angelina Jolie? Oh, I would have loved to hear what you have to say about HER! And I don't care how humanitarian and all she is. She is a slut.

On another note - saying a prayer that you work everything out. Hugs. <3

Holly said...

Love, Love, Love this post! You crack me up and I could not agree more on everything you said.

Cecelia Winesap said...

Thank you for your thoughts on Cameron Diaz. I thought I was the only person on the planet who thinks she stinks at acting.

Bette said...

YOU JUST REALLY MADE ME LAUGH. I soooo agree with you about Brett Michaels. I loved him back in the day and I love him now - and hubby knows it. hee hee

twelvedaysold said...

You made me lol with this line:

I guess this big announcement means he broke up with the love of his life, his big round roller
brush and blow dryer.

Kelly said...

Justin Bieber is WAY too young to have an old-man comb-over/forward coiffure. He could be the nicest, sweetest young man in the world but his hair? Is a Don't.

Just not seeing how Bret Michaels became America's Sweetheart, especially after his "Rock of Love" whoreathons. Nope, just not getting it. Although he did. With all sorts of skanks.

Lindsay Lohan. I love a good celebrity trainwreck and she is one heckuva cuckoo choo choo.

Eva Gallant said...

Linday Lohan...a trainwreck couldn't discribe it better! And Justin, well, maybe it's cause I'm old, but he's such a little baby...too young to think about mingling. He looks like it wasn't that long ago he was weaned!

Alyson Common Sense, Dancing said...

laughing out loud: "She mangles her English like I mangle Trigonometry..."

Genius, you are -- trig or no trig.

(And BTW, I always wondered that about her -- her English is soooo bad, how does she get American work??)

Thanks for the laugh.

blueviolet said...

I've oft wondered about the Cameron Diaz thing too. She's ok, but certainly not a superstar.

I didn't know Penelope was a thief!

JoAnn said...

Bret Michaels is not bald! Geesh!
I love him too, but in a motherly way, because even though I'm younger than he is, he's sort of dumb...at least when it comes to relationships. He's like a dumb puppy with talent. He's so sweet. I can't help but like him even though he did do Rock of Love...ew. ew. eeeeewww.
He's one of my favorite celebrities. He just is a sweetie.

Do Justin B's lips look fake to anyone else? What is going on there?

I'll be praying for you. Start listening to the sound of music. "I have confidence in springtime!..." Motivational.
You're so cute and funny.

Why is Bethanny famous? Why does she have two 'n's?

JoAnn said...

Bret Michaels is not bald! Geesh!
I love him too, but in a motherly way, because even though I'm younger than he is, he's sort of dumb...at least when it comes to relationships. He's like a dumb puppy with talent. He's so sweet. I can't help but like him even though he did do Rock of Love...ew. ew. eeeeewww.
He's one of my favorite celebrities. He just is a sweetie.

Do Justin B's lips look fake to anyone else? What is going on there?

I'll be praying for you. Start listening to the sound of music. "I have confidence in springtime!..." Motivational.
You're so cute and funny.

Why is Bethanny famous? Why does she have two 'n's?

amyblam.com said...

Bratchild doesn't like the Bieber so that's something.
I could never date a man who spends more time on his hair than I do...and I don't spend much.
Cameron Diaz drives me INSANE-she's like an idiotic version of the cartoon Joker.

Cheryl said...

WHat is with that kids hair?

Anyway - it gobsmacks me that someone with your amazing writing ability could feel at all insecure (if you do, I'm not sure exactly what you're feeling). I think you're an amazing talent. If that counts for anything.

Cheeseboy said...

I love you because you're the yappy neighbor. It's better than being the Hooker neighbor.

Yours is the only blog that writes this long that I will read the entire thing.

I don't know if that last sentence makes sense, but you get the point.

I wonder who has the worst voice - that chick from the Nanny or Bethany?

TesoriTrovati said...

Fly that kite, Miss Joann. I am saying silent prayers for whatever you need most. But know that you have words and funny and talent in spades. Have faith in it and then let that kite soar high.
And when I saw the news blurb about Bono I immediately thought of you! Hallelujah!
Enjoy the day!
Erin

June Gardens said...

12daysold and I are the same person, apparently, because the round brush and blow dryer comment slayed me, too.

Deborah said...

#1 - Bieber-boy's hair. What is most funny about this hair is that I was in love with a boy in middle school that had this hair. Yes! And . . . 10 years ago I saw this hair walking all over Minneapolis. Either we're too cool for school or this has been around forever!

#2 - Bret! Bret forever. I was a big watcher of his crazy show - whatever it was called - I find him so charming and funny.

Yay!

middle child said...

Thank-you for the beautiful post. You are indeed a gifted writer. And I WILL be praying for you. Blessings.

abkeuser said...

Oh, Joann!

I can never get enough of different view points on the trainwrecks of fame (I too lol-ed at the biebs break up with his blowdryer). You bring things to the light in such a funny way - it's why your blog is a staple in my reading diet.

Don't let the angst get you! It's not worth it. Believe me.
*Sending lots of well wishes your way*

Cheeseboy said...

Also, Just so you know, your Justin Bieber post inspired me to kinda do one myself.

Ally said...

I can't stand Lindsay Lohan, but I adore Justin B because well, I can't tell you why yet, but I will if things go my way :)

Pat said...

Wow. This was like the blog from ET or something.

You're probably too young to remember Rona Barrett. She was this blond chick with big red glasses who used to do the Hollywood gossip on TV. SHe had a nasally voice and she'd say, "This is Rona Barrett from Hollywood". I always kid my daughter that she is Rona with all her Hollywood news, but you...YOU might just have her beat!

litanyofbritt said...

I lol'd through all but the end, for which I send cyber-hugs. And wine. Cyber-wine. Sorry.

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

Aww, Brett Michaels, I will admit, I saw Poison in concert. Yes, I waved a lighter in the air, slowly to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn".

And that Justin kid, he looks JUST like my nephew. Anytime my youngest sees a picture of him or gets a glimpse of him on tv she points and says, "Jake?"

Baby Sister said...

Haha. Thanks for the laugh.

Did not know that about Penelope. I do still like her though, because she is from Spain and Spain is my home away from home.

I agree with everything stated.

And I will be praying for you.

The Empress said...

I'm with Cheese-boy. ONLY with you, and ONLY with you, will I sit and read every single word you post b/c it's worth it, and I don't want to miss a single thing.

Only with you. I usually X out and groan when I see it's more than 6 paragraphs.

With no text breaks, and people, please, could we make it snappy? Except for you, Joann, my love...like I said, I'm with Cheeseboy...

Leanne said...

I don't even know WHERE to begin! My GOODNESS! You've touched on some pretty crazy folks here ... I spent some time at a family gathering last week and made the mistake of telling a 12 year old boy that his hair was like Justin Bieber ...needless to say, that kid didn't talk to me the rest of the night (not that I expect 12 yr old boys to talk to strange relatives very often, but I think I'm kind of a hoot!) ;) OOooooo , and really, must anything else be said other than . . . BONO? I think not. He is so dreamy, isn't he? Love the post, as always. Sending you prayers because the whole darn world needs to know how fanTastic you are!

Cupcake Murphy said...

Every anyone who ever thought anything says that if you're good you think you're not good but I don't know about that---I just think Danielle Steele NEVER feels angst and then I know when I DO feel angst I must be a-okay. Buck Up! You're Great! Go forth and plunder and never ever ever stop writing because you are fab.

pieters said...

thanks for the celeb update. totally worth the read. did not know that p was out crashing relationships. loved the line about putting her on shutter island with angelina. ha!

pieters said...

thanks for the celeb update. totally worth the read. did not know that p was out crashing relationships. loved the line about putting her on shutter island with angelina. ha! lauren@mylifeandmyloves

Liz said...

I'm in complete love of Sassy Snarky Joann! Joann with an Edge - not to be confused with THE Edge - is my new love!

granny1947 said...

Great post and I really don't give a damn about actors and what or who that are getting up to!!!
You will get your mojo back...it is just teasing you!

Noelle said...

I miss you when I go away for 8 days and don't read blogs!

I loved this...but I LOVED LOVED LOVED the post about your girls dancing...made me just a bit teary eyed!

cheri said...

and you say you don't do TV...

i am a bit surprised that javier married her. then again, they basically speak the same language. the same you prolly would've married trigonometry if you understood each other.

every rose has its thorns...

Jen said...

There is so much to say. First of all, I have a prayer for you and I so wish we lived closer to one another because I would be over with a bottle of wine and some nail polish and we would talk all night until things were better and you didn't feel angsty. I really would.

Bret is fine, I don't care at all that he is going bald on top of his head, or that it has been cut open for that matter. He is that bad boy I have been after my whole life and I hope nothing but the best for him and his not official fiance and their kids. That's right, the internet is abuzz with tales of him making things official.

Um, I have to go back and read the rest again because I was thinking of Bret and forgot the rest.

Bristol and Levi. I hope this isn't some kind of staged thing, and I am inclined to think it isn't because they are young and we all do stupid things when we are young. I doubt it will work, or even that it should work, but I wish the best for them and their adorable child. And if I were Bristol and the spokesperson for abstinence before marriage you'd bet I'd be in a hurry to get married.

We had a Martha, her name was Mrs Putnam and she loved to talk to my father. She also liked to drink, in fact she like to drink so much she never really stopped. Didn't matter what time of the day the woman always had a Martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She reminded me of Bette Davis. My father would make my brother and I look for her and tell him if she was coming over. I don't recall what his plan was. He was usually happy to have a drink with her and then bring her home and tuck her into bed. It's not like it sounds. She was at least 100 years older than my dad and my dad was gay so it wasn't creepy.

I'm glad Bono is better because I know it makes you feel better.

Ms Weasel Face should have kept Tom Cruise or she should have nabbed Angelina (since she swings both ways) just so Brad would know what it feel like to be dogged.

Jen said...

So there it is and what happened to my other one. Oh, this is going to be embarrassing. Sorry for taking up so much space.

Jen said...

I had a really awesome comment but apparently it was too long and they wouldn't let me post it. The auto response said if I was going to say that much I should just write a post over on my own blog. Damn, it was an awesome comment.

In a nutshell:

I'm sorry you feel bad, I wish we lived closer because I would be over with a bottle of wine and nail polish in a heartbeat and we would paint our toenails and talk until you felt less angsty. But I will say a prayer for you and I hope you pass through this quickly.

Bret = fine
Levi = fine but a dumbass
Bono = glad he is doing better because that makes you feel better.
We had a Martha too except her name was Mrs. Putnam. This is where I wrote the post which I might just do over on one of my blogs since yours won't let me.

Crazy Brunette said...

What's got you worked up bitch? And who do we have to kill??? I'm ready when you are hooker!

Is Justin even OLD enough to have a love of his life???

Baby Sister said...

Since I don't know how else to get a hold of you...what's the thing called that blogger has that you use for awards?

Bossy Betty said...

Thanks for his rundown on the popular culture Joann. I can always count on you to get the heart of all essential matters. I think it's hilarious that hubby had a visceral reaction to Bethany!! Do you think Levi knows his underwear is showing?

Mrsblogalot said...

You get out of that puddle girl! There's germs in that there stuff!!!

Now, Charro and weasel faced Penny Cruz will forever be welded together in my mind. They are both hoochie coochie if you ask me.

Did I mention that you crack me up?

Oh, and Bret....be still my heart.

He's no vampire but man....OMG those eyes!

Shelley said...

I couldn't possibly comment on everything here, but I do have two thoughts.

#1 - Freaky Friday is one of ... ok, the only movie I can think of where I like the remake better than the original. However, this is mostly due to the fact that I heart Jamie Lee Curtis. That Lindsay is one hot mess, no?

#2 - Justin Bieber? 12 year-olds should not be allowed to date even. Is all I'm sayin'. My daughters try to tell me he's like 16 or some such ridiculous thing, but come on, look at him. If he's 16, I'm 60. And I'm not 60.

Anonymous said...

I love how sassy you are and a bit snarky to boot! Your comments are hilarious on the celebrities but I will have to defend Penelope Cruz. I feel her acting is amazing and that her accent does not belittle her in anyway. Everyone has an accent if they talk in their non-native land. If you went to Spain are you pardoning everyone that makes fun of you and belittles you just because of your American accent, even if you are trying to learn their language?

TIGHTWAD said...

I enjoyed your post, alot. I didn't know a bad photo of Penelope existed. I agree re: LiLo. Dropping by from the LBS.

Michele Chastain said...

OMG so glad I found this blog! LOL Great stuff!

Tina said...

Visiting from Lady Bloggers Tea Party and so glad I did. I love your blog. This post seriously made me laugh. Not only do we share similar opinions about Lindsay Lohan and Cameron Diaz, but I have been known to use the word "befuddled" on my own blog a time or time. Sometimes it really is the only word that will do! Anyway, I'm subscribing to your blog, and I was in no way befuddled when I made that decision. :o)

jayayceeblog said...

You obviously gave this a lot of thought and I'm very glad you got it all out of your system. I'm agreeing with you and laughing very lady like with no snorting at all!

natalee said...

LOL... loved your post.. i swear you are my sister from another mother i couldnt have said it better myself

Tree said...

Penelope and Bono?! Say it isn't so! LOL And I have to agree....Bret ROCKS! WOOOO!! Lindsay Lohan is just a sad, sad case now...I loved Freaky Friday and actually liked Mean Girls...but then she went downhill. And $500 for leggings?! What the hell is up with that?!

samsstuff said...

So much great, funny info! I wouldn't even know where to begin, so I'll start somewhere in the middle. I've always thought that Penelope Cruz was kind of odd looking & wondered what her attraction was. Lindsey Lohan has to create all this press, because otherwise her name would disappear, her films are just not that interesting, despite her great co-stars. Tom Cruise is no prize himself. Wasn't he married when he met Nichole Kidman? Justin Bieber? Who? I've always loved Bono & U2....
I hope that whatever is getting you down disappears soon in this flurry of good thoughts that we are sending your way.
Stopping by from the LBS tea party to say hi & check out your fun blog!

Mom vs. the boys said...

totally, Justin Beiber, is that kid old enough to date? He looks like he still plays GI Joe in the sandbox. get real.

and yeah, Brett, why does he still have a baby face after all these years? after all the drugs, alcohol, late nights, std's, smoking, isn't he suppose to be all shriveled up by now? he still looks kind of hot to me!

Sarah said...

A WEASEL!

For years now, I've been trying to figure out what that hussy looks like, and that's it. A weasel. You made my life.

Also, my eyes were scorched with the image you posted of BeelzeBieb. But it's OK, because you answered the hussy question. Carry on.

Anonymous said...

i love justin bieber with all my heart and stop hating on him just cause his voice can hit high notes... its not nice.. plus you guys aren't teenage girls..... you don't get it... and his hair is amazing

Anonymous said...

i totally agree with the 'anonymous' at the bottom here. shes totally right about everything. he gorgeous, funny, cool, sweet and STRAIGHT. just because he can hit high notes it doesn't mean he's gay. none of u r teenage girls you wouldn't understand what some people (other than selfish self-contained people like you) find attractive in a boy! give us and Justin a bit of peace. you might say, 'our right is freedom of speech' which is true, but your RESPONSIBILITY is to keep nasty or offensive comments to yourself. *fact*

Crazy Brunette said...

MINXY!!! You've got a few little teeny boppers up your ass here!!! LOL!

The FUCK?

Go home and play with your Barbies girls... the grown folk are having a conversation.

NessaKnits said...

Justin Beiber is channelling Donny Osmond. Isn't he? Or at least the Barbie doll that was Donny Osmond.

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