Hello Lovers!
Saturday, May 15, 2010

Good Afternoon!

I am having a rainbows and sunshine and kittens kind of day. I wish the same for you, my friends. 

But, I'm rather tired, so my brain has a lot of spongey pockets, which is causing the words that usually just flow out of me to get all jammed up in those soft holes. 

And yes, that IS a scientific explanation. I watch Medical Discovery Channel. Duh. 

I've decided I'm just going to make a list today instead of telling you a story, which I'm sure most of you will be all, "Thank the Lord Above. I do NOT have time for her long-ass windedness today." 

That probably wasn't too cool of me, to cuss and talk about the Lord in the same sentence. So sorry, Lord. But, for the record Lord, that was one of my tamer cuss words. I could have given you a whole lot worse. Just so you know, when you're judging me and all. 

So,  anyway for today I've decided to make a list of the things that are making me happy, a sparkling butterfly kind of happy. 

But, first I'd like to start with the one bit of bad on my list:

☁ I'm tired. Very tired. My Julia and I watched a special on Jim Jones and The People's Temple last night. Yes, and those are the kind of happy-go-lucky shows we enjoy because we're freaks like that. And I'm so excited to finally have someone in my life who shares my passion for cults, odd diseases and true shows about serial killers. It's great mother/daughter bonding time. 

Anyway, the cult folks didn't drink the Kool-Aid until 1:00 am. And then I forgot to turn off my weekday alarm clock which is set for 5:50 am. And when the alarm goes off, the puppies instantly leap up and just start tearing around the house at full speed as if they've been doing crack all night and there is NO settling them back down. 

So, the tired is not so much fun. 

Now, here's the good. 

☀No one has peed or pooped on the floors this morning. And if you're new to me, I'm not talking about my family, because that would be really gross. I'm talking about my moronic 6-month old puppies who have made my life a 6-month romp in hell. I think this post here, will just sum everything up for you. 

So, I'm very excited about that. 

☀Here's another bit of happy. My sister gave me a workout DVD earlier in the year and even though, 
I love to work out, I kept forgetting about this workout she'd raved about. Now, my sister is a fitness 
nut. She runs marathons and has tried just about every kind of exercise known to man. Kickboxing, Pilates, Spinning, everything. I'm sure if there was an exercise regime called Mountain Climbing Gymnastics, she'd be the first one in line. So, when she says something's great, I listen. 

Well, I finally remembered the workout yesterday and I did it and in a word, Kick-Ass. Actually, 
two words, but you get my drift. 

It's called The Bar Method. All you need are a set of small weights, a mat, and a chair or a ballet 
bar and sadly, I do not have a ballet bar in my house, so I had to use the chair which worked fine. 
It's a combo of interval training, (a big fat-burner), isometrics and ballet moves. It uses subtle, subtle movement to work your muscles. Which is perfect for me, because coordination and I are not 
friends and if I have to dance or step up and step down, there is a 100% chance I am falling down. 
By the end of the workout, my legs were rubber. And the best part? I woke up this morning and 
I had sore triceps, sore thighs, a sore ass, and a sore stomach and ladies, we all know that's a 
good kind of sore to have. 

And FYI, this is not a paid advertisement. If you look around you'll notice, no ads. That means I 
am bound to no one. This is all from my heart. They have 2 DVD's. I did the accelerated one, but 
I'm sure the other one is just as kickass. The woman who invented this kickass workout is 60- something years old but she doesn't look a day over 35. She also promises a drop in your jean size in
rapid time. So, little jeans, here Momma comes!

☀Here's another sparkle. I am sitting here blogging instead of picking my daughter up from her slumber party. And why? Because the college girl is home and so my Hubby and I have our personal errand runner back. Whoo-Hoo! Not that she's a very willing participant in the schlepping around of her sisters all over town, but she does it because, well . . . because I trick her into it every time. 

As most of you know my Olivia is a lovely girl. She is super smart. She's made the Dean's List throughout her first year of college which is a great accomplishment since she's also mastered the art of partying and staying up all night. So she's already learned how to find the best parties AND keep vampire hours AND drink coffee all day to keep her eyes open in class AND make the good grades. 

We couldn't be more proud. 

Having done all the bragging, I will confess to the fact that she is what you call, "book smart" and book smart only. 

We told her one time as she was headed out the door to go somewhere, that she'd have to take a detour since lightning had hit a transformer earlier in the day and the power company had a good part of our road shut down. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, "A transformer? Are you serious? I thought those were only in the movies!"

And gems like that fall out of her mouth just about every day. 

So, she's easily fooled, which works well to my advantage. I can trick her into anything because I'm a great mother like that. 

Whenever she starts to groan about having to drive somewhere, I always give her the choice. I tell her, if she prefers she can stay home and wait for the repairman, Juan. I inform her she will have to give him a detailed report of the broken whatever. (It's something different every time) And also, she will have to insist to Juan that the repair is covered under the warranty. And no matter how many times he demands to get paid, she is not to buckle under pressure. I tell her not to worry. Juan is a big bluffer and he really won't call the police to get his money. He's just messing around. 

By the time I finish my Juan speech, she is out the door, keys in hand. 

I use this same speech, every dang time. 

She must think everything in our house is broken and that Juan is the biggest dumbass in the world to keep coming back to fix things for free. 

But whatever works! 

☀Now, here's a biggie. Yesterday, I reached 200 followers! A big Wohooo for me! I think it might have been a new follower named Carrie who put me over the 200 mark. So, thank you Carrie. Actually, thank each and everyone of you, for following, for reading, for commenting. It truly means the world to me, especially since I don't give you anything for your time and trouble. 

My friend Cheeseboy promised to dive in a dumpster when he reached his 100th follower and HE DID. Now, he's coming up on 200 and he's vowing to do a video broadcast from the back of Burt Reynold's truck. I don't know any of the specifics. I've been trying to get him to spill the details, asking him if Burt Reynolds is his grandpa or something, but he's keeping his lips locked. All I know is, it should be very interesting. 

When you have an extra second, head on over to Cheeseboy's place, The Blog O' Cheese, and help a blogger out. Actually, help me out. I want to see this video. His blog is great and funny and sometimes a little sweet. Sorry, Cheeseboy, but it's okay for men to be sweet, especially when they're talking about their wife. And I really don't think I've ever heard him talk about cheese. But, I do like a good cheese recipe, Cheeseboy. So if you have any of those, you might want to add them to your blog. Just a suggestion. 

☀And speaking of my blog: Yesterday I wrote a post and I had very few comments and I grew bluer and bluer as the day went by thinking that perhaps I hadn't been snappy enough, that my post was too lame to even bother with leaving a comment. 

But, then I woke up this morning and those Blogger pranksters had been 69in' me, AGAIN. I went to my dashboard and it said 32 comments and I was all, "Yeah, yeah. Screw you too, F***ing Blogger." 

And I clicked on the comments waiting for Blogger to say, "Ah-hah! Gotcha, AGAIN. No unmoderated comments, Suckah!!!" 

But, then to my great delight, THERE WERE 32 COMMENTS! And I woke up to this shower of love. And there is nothing like being tired from watching a late night mass suicide and being all tired and such in the morning and stumbling bleary eyed to your computer and then, Love, Sweet, Love!

And so in return, I'd like to say, I love all of you, too. Or to quote the brilliant, brilliant Bloggess, "You guys are like a crunchy taco dipped in glitter." (Those are the Bloggess' words, not mine, because I do NOT plagiarize. I am no copycat. And if you are one of the few people on this planet, not familiar with our queen, The Bloggess, go check her out, because she is amazing and one of the funniest people on the planet. And I, like everyone else, adore her.)

But, the Bloggess' words sum up exactly how I feel and I was so happy you were there, as always for me. So thank you for letting me blab here and listening and talking back to me. I just want to hug each and every one of you. 

And so just so you know, you are the reason my day is sunshiny sweet. 

Today's Definite Download: The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows". Because, this is a masterpiece of a song. I dedicate it to all of you beautiful people out there reading my inane ramblings. And you all deserve nothing but a masterpiece. 

I may not always love you
Editor's Note: Untrue I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it.

God only knows what I'd be without you.

Kisses to the sky, people! God only knows what this silly, klutzy girl would be without you. I don't ever want to find out. 

Yo! And a special, special P.S.  Do you see that beautiful little angel over there on the right? That sweetie pie is Monkey. She is 16 months old and she's just been diagnosed with neuroblastoma. Just typing the words makes me shudder. The world should stop spinning with the words baby and cancer. It is just not fair. And it is every mother's worst nightmare, unfortunately a nightmare come true for her mommy Michelle. Michelle is one of us in the blogging community and she can be found at Momma's Pixie Dreams, a blog filled with the spun-sugar sweetness of her 3 little girls. If you can, please send her some words of love and encouragement. She is still reeling from the news. And if you really can, click on those buttons. One button is her story. The other is for donations. Cancer ravages more than a person. It ravages households and finances. And I hate cancer. I hate it with all my heart.

We bloggers form ranks when we're needed. And we watch out for each other and hold hands as we tiptoe through this big, scary world of the Internet. Michelle and Monkey and the rest of the gang, we're here for you. We're holding your hand tight. Can you feel us? Don't let go.  


Dee said...

Glad this beautiful Saturday finds you cheerful. :) Isn't it funny how when kids first learn to drive, they volunteer to be errand runners. Give them a yr or so and they have to be bribed.

Shelley said...

Ah, unicorns-and-rainbows-out-of-your-ass kind of day. I want one of those. It's noon here, and I'm sitting here in my pajamas, on my bed, with my laptop, thinking I should really do...something. What, I have no idea.

I have to ask, because I don't know and I'm dumb; what's the difference between following someone and having them on your blogroll? Like, I have you on my blogroll and I know you posted something new because you were at the top. The only person I follow is Suburban Correspondent, and I only did that because she was bummed that she had lost a follower, so I thought I'd make up for it and figure out how to follow people, so I did. I could follow you too now. But I'm a little disappointed that I won't be your 200th follower. Can you kick someone off so I can be #200? LOL (June, again. She loves her some LOL)

Oh, and I cannot wait until my oldest gets here so she can drive her pain-in -the-ass sister around sometimes. Holy shit, that was just the loudest thunder I have ever heard right there. I think I'm going to get off the computer before I get electrocuted. I can just see it, "She died over her blog." Awesome.

Andrea said...

Great site- I love the clean layout and your tone. I need that workout DVD.

Happy SITS Saturday!

Cheeseboy said...

I am so honored that you would give me a shout out. Very cool of you.

I think being called "sweet" might be the nicest thing I have been called in years.

I hate when Blogger screws me over. It's worse than getting screwed over by a Walmart panhandler, or a midget.

I love the name Olivia. Really, she sounds like the perfect college student.

Everyone BS's their way through college anyway.

Anonymous said...

Ummm, blogger is fighting me today. It did not want to pull up your comment window!
So this bar method? How fast are we talking? Like super snappy? I have a boudoir photo thing Monday that I had blocked out.

cheri said...

sound like you really had a fun day. and congratulations for the 200 followers you got there :)

happy SITS sharefest :)

Trista said...

I thought you said you weren't going to write a long one today. lol- I am only kidding. I thoroughly enjoy your blog and read it every day!

Karen said...

Love it. Congrats on your OVER 200 followers now. That would make me smile as well. I was happy when I just passed 40.

Hope your day continues to be wonderful.

Sadako said...

Congrats on 200! that's amazing.

Anonymous said...

yay 200!

If you're awesome and you know it clap your hands!!!

Sorry everything goes back to pre-school songs with me.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on reaching 200!!!

LOVE the mother/daughter bonding..sounds so much like something my daughter and I would do..actually we're about to watch a movie about a woman who kills her abusive husband and then he haunts her...lol.

Thank you for the shoutout for Monkey!!! It's SO appreciated!!

Lisa said...

Here's a list of my own:

1. I'm so glad that (a) you were having blogger issues too, because blogger was driving me crazy this morning. Absolutely crazy. I think I'm done. I have had enough....and (b) I commented, and never saw my comment put up but then I was kinda afraid to say anything because I thought that maybe you didn't LKE my comment. So I am relieved!!

2. My Paige is exactly the same. Very, very smart. Very beautiful. Very talented. The common sense thing? Not so much.

3. The asparagus recipe sounds delicious. Merci!!

4. Congrats on reaching 200! Wow.

5. Juan....hahahahaha.

6. Oh pooh. There was a number 6, but I can't remember. It was NOT a rainbows and kittens days for me. Bah.

Natalie said...

There's so much in this post that I love!! I love "romp through hell", and just might start using it. I am SO checking out the Bar Method because I need to. I love the gems that fall out of Olivia's mouth because, unfortunately, they also fall out of mine!
Congrats on 200 (it's 206 now)! I can't wait to get there, too!

Katie's Dailies said...

If it wasn't for college, I would've never:
---learned to like coffee
---pulled an all nighter (on purpose)
---met David which led to having The Boy and The Girl which led to my blog which would've been sad indeed
---won a PDA award OR my MRS degree
---learned what nickel beer night was
---gotten over my guilt for clubbing ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!! (gasPP!)
---oh, yeah and earned my B.A.!
See, education IS important!!

The Girl sounds a lot like your Olivia: she's smart as a whip, but missed out in the common sense department, I think! : )

One Photo said...

Congratulations on your over 200 followers! What a great day, all these followers AND no one has had an accident on your floors today :-)

Tracie said...

I'm glad someone is having a great day! Can't wait to see what Cheeseboy comes up with....

Suburban Correspondent said...

Well, I'm #207 - sorry, I thought I was already Following.

I still remember listening to my analog clock radio one evening in 9th or 10th grade and hearing the news report about the Jim Jones thing. Freaky.

pieters said...

congrats on the followers. i knew you back when. like 189 followers. ha! peace chica. lauren

duffylou said...

I love your posts. I can always relate to a part of them in some way. Today it was definitely the bonding over weird TV shows. That and I had to bribe my kid to do my errands.

I would also like to thank you for bringing Mission Monkey to my attention. As you said, no parents should have to go through this with their children.

TesoriTrovati said...

I don't know what divine intervention led me to be a follower of yours but if you want to go all long-windedness on me AND tell me great bluffs to tell my daughter to get her to do things when she doesn't know anyone named Juan, well... I will drink your kool-aid anyday.
Enjoy the day, Joann!

Bossy Betty said...

Oh my gosh! I thought I was the only sick-minded individual who watched the Jim Jones documentary more than once!

In our office wing a bunch of us repeat that "I'm tired! I'm so tired" in the Jim Jones voice.

Don't drink the Kool-Aid, Baby!

Alexandra said...


Isn't it mind boggling that you didn't even know most of these people a year ago?

I tell ya, that 6 degrees of separation theory has gone out the window with the internet..

Anonymous said...

hope your kittens and rainbows and taxi dreams last all week, Joann. Congrats to Olivia-big accomplishment-good for you.

Liz Mays said...

There's so much here I don't even know what to comment on! I do recognize the soreness you speak of and it's a good kind of pain for sure. I have found myself moving my muscles throughout the day in a way to get another shot of muscle pain, just to remind me what a girl girl I've been.

Congrats on passing that 200 follower mark!

Kelly and Sara said...

I'm your newest follower, just found your blog and love it! Hope you have a great rest of your weekend, check us out when you have time.


alicia said...

Congrats on your great followers and hitting the 200 mark. And yes, you do have something special here.

liz said...

We have a dog who does that same thing! I have heard of the Bar Method; good to know that it's worth it.

Does your daughter read this blog? I couldn't get over the story you wrote about her!

Jen said...

I have a daughter just like yours. I have to trick her because otherwise she just refuses to do anything. She is a lot like the dog that way.

I'm so glad you are having a rainbow and sunshine kind of day. You really made my day fun by your blondness over on my blog.

Gigi said...

No one deserves a big celebration for 200 followers than you! Your blog ROCKS! I am going to check out the Bar Method. Right after I check out Zumba. I spent a fun hour one morning at 3:30 watching that infomercial and I think I got hooked. At least I wasn't watching Jim Jones :)

Also, checked out Cheeseboy and love it!!!

Lula Lola said...

One of my favorite songs of all time!
I wish I lived closer, I'd love to have watched the Jim Jones thing with you. I'm fascinated by the crazies myself!

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