Monday, August 22, 2011
Seriously.
This is your last warning. Because I don't like hate mail and you're going to hate on me if you have an ounce of sensitivity in your body.
Did you see Russell Armstrong of Housewives of Beverly Hills, Taylor "Duck Lips" estranged husband killed himself by hanging?
Just last month, she finally filed for divorce, saying he was physically abusive. I know he was a controlling dick, but still...They have a little girl.
I know. So very sad that I never got to hook up with Aidan.
This is your last warning. Because I don't like hate mail and you're going to hate on me if you have an ounce of sensitivity in your body.
Which, you're about to see, clearly I do not.
Oh, and my Part II story is my next post, I promise.
Oh, and my Part II story is my next post, I promise.
I'm going to share with you an email discussion between my sister and me, but before I do, I need to give you a little back story.
First of all, I was a mite trampy in high school.
And when I say trampy, I do not mean THAT kind of trampy.
I mean, I liked it when my milkshake brought the boys to the yard.
And honestly? I'm not even sure what that means, but if it means THAT milkshake?
No.
That wasn't me in high school. But I was a big flirt and I dated many boys and I liked to make out.
But, not THAT kind of make out.
So, that's the first thing I wanted to make clear.
And when I say I dated a lot of boys, I mean I dated a LOT of boys.
Because I adore men. I always have. And age was never an issue for me. I have dated older boys, boys my age and even a few younger ones. Hi Lawton and Charlie and Patrick. Oh, that Patrick was young. Entirely too young. But he was cute with a thick shock of black hair and blue eyes and there was a beach involved. And beaches always make things more romantic.
My brother is a few pegs up the ladder from me. He graduated before I entered high school, but that didn't stop me from perusing his friends, too, once I got to a certain age.
And let me tell you, brothers LOVE IT when you're dating their friends.
Now, that fact was the second one you need to keep in your noggin.
Third thing is, I spent some of my childhood in Illinois. For some of my school years up to the third grade, we lived in a town called Rockford, which at the time was a small town.
Okay, got all that? Just a few more points to go.
In keeping with my love for men, I have a vast collection of celebrity men I consider my boyfriends.
And one of the men who makes my heart go all EKG heart palpitation crazy, is this man:
Aidan Quinn.
I have loved him since the first day I set eyes on him, all thug like on his motorcycle with Daryl Hannah hanging on for dear life behind him.
This was, of course, in the days before she looked like the wind had frozen her face back.
Here he is over the years.
It just goes to show, not only do good looking people rule the world, they age well, too.
Which brings me to my last point.
I am an asshole of huge proportions.
So... let's put all these things together, shall we?
I stumbled across Aidan Quinn's bio the other day.
Oh, Internet, I'm lying to you.
The truth is, I was supposed to be writing, but I'd just watch Legends of The Fall earlier in the day while I was running and I was once again filled with lusty love for Aidan Quinn.
And for the record, for all my friends who are going, "Legends of the Fall and you pick Aidan? Really?"
Yes, Brad Pitt was smoldering sexy all over that screen. And I don't even like Brad Pitt. But in that movie, with his wild man self, if I'd been the girl engaged to the other brother, I would have taken one look at that wild man with his long blonde hair and said, "Sorry dude, all bets are off. Tristan, get your horse. Let's go into the woods and you can show me your wild man ways."
But, I still love Aidan Quinn. In all other movies, he wins.
And for the record, for all my friends who are going, "Legends of the Fall and you pick Aidan? Really?"
Yes, Brad Pitt was smoldering sexy all over that screen. And I don't even like Brad Pitt. But in that movie, with his wild man self, if I'd been the girl engaged to the other brother, I would have taken one look at that wild man with his long blonde hair and said, "Sorry dude, all bets are off. Tristan, get your horse. Let's go into the woods and you can show me your wild man ways."
But, I still love Aidan Quinn. In all other movies, he wins.
And so, I was googling the snot out of that man.
I'm sure that's a phrase you've never heard before.
And while googling Aidan Quinn's snot and everything else about him, I discovered that he went to Rockford High School, back in the day.
And Aidan Quinn is the same age as my oldest brother.
And I was like, "OMG! I came within six degrees of making out with Aidan Quinn!"
And whenever I have a revelation like that, the first thing I do is email my sisters.
But as I was about to click on my email, I saw breaking news on TMZ.
Because TMZ is always on in this house. I am UP on the news, man.
And that's when I read that Russell Armstrong, Taylor's husband of The Housewives of Beverly Hills had committed suicide. And I was all, "Whoa."
Which is what I entitled my email. "Whoa." My Whoa email went like this: And please, don't be furious.
Just last month, she finally filed for divorce, saying he was physically abusive. I know he was a controlling dick, but still...They have a little girl.
Also, too, I just finished working out and I watched The Legends of the Fall. That movie is just a giant swoonfest. You know how I've got big love for Aidan Quinn? I googled him and found out he went to Rockford High School. He's John's age. If we had stayed in Illinois, I would have pursued him at every keg party and football game until he was mine. He's married to Lorraine Bracco's sister.
To which my sister answered:
No way. That is really sad.
My reply:
My sister's reply:
You totally would have made out with Aidan. We should find John's grammar school pictures and see if Aidan was in his class. Lorraine Bracco seems like she is really fun. I liked her when she was on Top Chef for Jimmy Fallon's birthday dinner.
To which I answered:
I would have taken him to my prom. And we would have stayed out all night and I would have gotten restriction, but it would have been worth every sweaty, backseat second of it.
I bet you the Bracco/Quinn house is a fun place to be around the holidays. Also, I would have definitely made out with Jimmy Fallon, too. He's nerdy adorable cute.
I bet you the Bracco/Quinn house is a fun place to be around the holidays. Also, I would have definitely made out with Jimmy Fallon, too. He's nerdy adorable cute.
And please, don't be outraged with me. Suicide is always terrible. And I'm sorry for the family. And it's so sad that this man felt he had so much darkness that his only choice was to slip a noose around his neck and let go. I really am sorry for them.
But this is just the way I'm built. I can't help myself. It's Aidan Freakin' Quinn.
And on a less assholish note,
I went to the movies the other night.
My friend Michelle invited me to this movie benefit thing.
A certain place I will not mention, YMCA, had an annual fundraiser there.
We'd gone last year and it was rather fun, with raffles and dinner and wine in little paper cups and a movie, so we thought we'd give it another go.
Michelle was generous enough to buy a batch of tickets and invite all her girlfriends.
We were going to see "The Help."
We met in front of the theater, about seven of us and went in . . .
To chaos. Major chaos.
The three theaters this place, YMCA, had rented out, were all crammed with chattering women. There were a few seats here and there, but most of the empty ones, the chatty ladies were saving for friends.
A woman in the front was yelling into a microphone, trying to outdo the talky talk. It was dark. (The year before the lights didn't go down until the previews started, that way you could eat and puruse raffle baskets without tripping.) It was also hot and loud and we were standing there our hands full with the mega bag of popcorn, soda, boxed sandwich and boxed brownie they'd given us upon entering the movie benefit. We had no more room for the one thing that appealed to me in this theater of the absurd:
The Bellinis, beckoning us from a table in the front of the theater.
We were told to stand against the wall until they found seats for us. And one by one, our friends were picked off to go sit in a lone seat in between groups of chattering friends.
Finally, it was just Michelle and I standing there, brimming over with our movie food sans Bellini, when one of our friends texted us from the other theater, saying she had two seats she'd been able to save.
And so off we went, trailing bits of popcorn like Gretel and Gretel behind us.
When we got into the theater, it was the same scene. Darkness and heat and this deafening chatter of Bellini quaffing women and a lady in the front trying to work the raffle and compete with the ruckus by outshouting the chorus of blabbers.
Oh, it was madness.
We found our friend and her saved seats.
We were so lucky to have two seats.
In the very front row of the theater.
And not only were they in the front, they were off to the right, so we had to crane our necks up AND over.
The images on the screen were totally distorted.
And I was thinking to myself, "This is bullshit. I really don't even care about The Help and I have no Bellini"
I don't know if Michelle was thinking the same thing.
Probably not because she is Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm to my Prince of Darkness and she doesn't have a sailor's mouth like me.
But she did pull out her phone and say in her Rebecca, sweetness and light, voice, (and if you know Michelle, I know you're nodding your head right now in agreement), "I wonder if there's anything else playing right now that isn't so...crowded."
And as she scrolled and I sat there, getting a kink in my neck and going cross eyed and sweating and while the women on the microphone continued to yell, Michelle started muttering, "Shutup. Just shutup. ShutUP!"
Which is about the harshest thing that comes out of her mouth.
I started shoving all my theater stuff wherever I could find a place, most of it was on the floor in front of me, since it was a wide open space and I said, "You want a Bellini?"
And Michelle was all, "Uh, yeah!" In the same sort of "I can't believe you even have to ask tone" like I had asked if she wanted a massage from Matt Lauer. (It's Michelle's celebrity boyfriend. I know. Sad. But I've promised her I won't judge her anymore on her Matt Lauer love)
When I came back with our Bellinis, Michelle said, "Crazy, Stupid Love is starting in a few minutes. What do you think?"
And I was all, "Uh, yeah!" Like she had asked me if I wanted a massage from Aidan Quinn.
Michelle texted all of our other friends who were stuck all alone between chattering groups of women and they all texted back the same, as if we'd ask them if they wanted a massage from their favorites and I'm not sure who those are, since I didn't take a poll that night. Although I do know our friend Jane's celebrity boyfriend is Zac Efron and I'm really not sure what's wrong with my friends, at this point.
So Michelle let everyone know we would check it out and throw some popcorn their way if the coast was clear.
By this time, I had ditched my popcorn and soda. I'd tucked my sandwich and brownie in my big purse and all I had left to carry was the only important item.
My Bellini.
We made our way out of the theater and as we did, I looked over at Michelle.
And before I go any further, let me just say the employees at our movie theater are like a bunch of teenage Nazi prison guards. They will cut you if you try to sneak in an extra movie. Many, has been the time, I've seen a squadron of pimply faced employees in their sassy movie uniforms, grouped around some trembling kids, holding them down until the police come to storm the theaters and arrest such hardened criminals.
I know most theaters are notorious for their nonchalant employees, but I think ours are on some sort of bonus system for every stealth movie moocher they can get.
And so, there was Michelle, still overflowing with the benefit's goodies, balancing the huge bag of popcorn, her drink, her sandwich and brownie, her bellini and everything else that branded us as, "YES, WE JUST LEFT THE BENEFIT TO SNEAK INTO ANOTHER MOVIE."
So I turned to her and said, "Now listen, I'm married to a man who is an expert at getting us into places we really aren't supposed to be and he always tells me the key is to be subtle. And this," I waved at the mountain of goodies with her big brown eyes peeking over the top and said, "Is not subtle."
I showed her my goodies entrenched in my big purse and she said, "Oh, I didn't bring the big purse tonight. I was going for fashionable."
And so off we went—Her not being subtle but totally fashionable— Me, with a bellini in hand and that's all that really matters.
We found the theater without too much fanfare and were pleasantly surprised to find no one in there.
And Michelle asked, "Will they show the movie if they haven't sold any tickets?"
And I was all, "Yes. They're required to show the movie." I pointed up at the window in the back where the projector was shining. "The dudes who sit up there and push the play button get paid no matter what."
And I have no idea if any of that is true, but I am excellent at making shit up.
So we signaled the other girls and waited and had our own chatter fest without all the noise and the heat and the bad seats.
At one point, right after the commercials ended and the previews began, the screen went dark for a second and Michelle ducked, like the dudes in the projector booth were coming at us with their glocks fully loaded, shouting, "FREEZE MOVIE DELINQUENTS!"
Once the other ladies joined us we had our own benefit, all to ourselves.
And even better?
This movie, this Crazy, Stupid Love?
It was such a charmer.
I loved, loved, loved this movie. It was so well written and that's one thing our American movie culture seems to have forgotten— the writing in a movie.
If you get a chance, you must go see this movie.
It was sublimely perfect.
Well, almost.
It would have been perfect if Aidan Quinn's gorgeous face was in it.
But, still.
Go see this movie. Sneak in, if you have to and then let me know what you think. And let me know if Ryan Gosling's big move would have worked on you.
It sure would have worked on me and my trampy self.
Today's Definite Download: I had another tune picked out for today. My hubs gave me his $100.00 gift card to iTunes, since he knows I'm a music fanatic and will spend that much anyway.
But then I read the worst news and it made me gasp, "NO!" out loud which was a mite awkward since I was in a school open house and the teacher had just listed the required school supplies.
Bono was treated for heart palpitations and chest pain this week. And I got heart palpitations and chest pain when I read this.
The world would stop turning if something were to happen to that man. Yes, it really would.
He's fine, I guess, since they released him. I know nothing more than that. Stupid Privacy Act.
He was in Monaco, of all places. And the next night he was seen in a nightclub, but that doesn't mean anything.That's how we Irish do things, we head out to the pub.
So for today, one of U2's greatest moments, the one that vaulted them into superstardom. And it's also one of my favorite songs.
In 1985, not much of the world knew U2.
I did.
But excluding fanatics, no one else knew much about this band. Live Aid was a huge benefit concert at Wembley Stadium that played live on televisions around the world. U2 had been invited to perform and for them it was thrilling and intimidating to be sandwiched in between the giants of the music world.
They were scheduled to play three songs, but on their second song, "Bad" Bono impulsively decided he needed to dance with a girl from the audience. What he hadn't anticipated was the multi level stages with a 20 foot drop off. Without telling the band, he descended and leapt from the stage onto the arena floor to pluck a girl from the audience.
It was a bit chaotic and it took longer than Bono had anticipated, using up all their allotted minutes that were supposed to be for their next song.
The band, not being able to see from their high perch, weren't sure where Bono had gone, so they just kept playing the chorus. Edge has said, it was a good thing the TV cameras didn't show their faces at the time, because they were one of pure panic. At the end of the song, Bono segued into a medley of classic hits, getting the audience to sing along with him, using up every precious second of their time.
At the time, the band including Bono thought they had botched their big moment. The band was furious with Bono and his impulsive act, captured on global television. Their manager was quoted as saying, "Needless to say, there was a big row afterwards backstage."
It wasn't until the next day, did they discover that Bono had stolen the show and there would never be the question of U who? again.
Joan Baez was watching Live Aid in her hotel room. She'd never heard of the band before. During their performance, she wrote, "This young man is expressing himself with such tenderness, it is enough to break my heart. He calls to the audience. They call back. He is directing a choir. They are the choir. I can't recall ever having seen anything like it in my life."
Amen.
And now, have a look for yourself.
If you don't feel like watching the whole performance, (I can't imagine), at the 6:10 mark, Bono drops his microphone with a clunk and heads off . . . into rock and roll superstardom.
At the end of the song, when Bono begins his medley of hits, he wails, "Pleased to meet you! Hope you guess my name!"
What a first impression.
And yes, I love a man who once wore a kicky mullet.
When I saw U2 in Nashville, Bono announced it had been their 100th show. He added 100 days away from their families. And I thought to myself, 100 days of traveling around the globe, 100 days of running around that stage for two solid hours, oftentimes in the broiling heat, singing at the top of his lungs and performing with everything he has.
All while in leather pants. That has to do a number on a heart.
For Bono and for my brother-in-law, the intense athlete, who is in the hospital right now with worrisome heart issues.
May your heart beat as strongly as the days gone by, when you were scaling 20 foot stages. May you both not be stupid men and suck it up. Get the help you need. Don't go off to nightclubs in Monaco and don't ride your bike 75 miles until the doctor and your heart give it the all clear. Especially, not while in leather pants.
It sure would have worked on me and my trampy self.
Today's Definite Download: I had another tune picked out for today. My hubs gave me his $100.00 gift card to iTunes, since he knows I'm a music fanatic and will spend that much anyway.
But then I read the worst news and it made me gasp, "NO!" out loud which was a mite awkward since I was in a school open house and the teacher had just listed the required school supplies.
Bono was treated for heart palpitations and chest pain this week. And I got heart palpitations and chest pain when I read this.
The world would stop turning if something were to happen to that man. Yes, it really would.
He's fine, I guess, since they released him. I know nothing more than that. Stupid Privacy Act.
He was in Monaco, of all places. And the next night he was seen in a nightclub, but that doesn't mean anything.That's how we Irish do things, we head out to the pub.
So for today, one of U2's greatest moments, the one that vaulted them into superstardom. And it's also one of my favorite songs.
In 1985, not much of the world knew U2.
I did.
But excluding fanatics, no one else knew much about this band. Live Aid was a huge benefit concert at Wembley Stadium that played live on televisions around the world. U2 had been invited to perform and for them it was thrilling and intimidating to be sandwiched in between the giants of the music world.
They were scheduled to play three songs, but on their second song, "Bad" Bono impulsively decided he needed to dance with a girl from the audience. What he hadn't anticipated was the multi level stages with a 20 foot drop off. Without telling the band, he descended and leapt from the stage onto the arena floor to pluck a girl from the audience.
It was a bit chaotic and it took longer than Bono had anticipated, using up all their allotted minutes that were supposed to be for their next song.
The band, not being able to see from their high perch, weren't sure where Bono had gone, so they just kept playing the chorus. Edge has said, it was a good thing the TV cameras didn't show their faces at the time, because they were one of pure panic. At the end of the song, Bono segued into a medley of classic hits, getting the audience to sing along with him, using up every precious second of their time.
At the time, the band including Bono thought they had botched their big moment. The band was furious with Bono and his impulsive act, captured on global television. Their manager was quoted as saying, "Needless to say, there was a big row afterwards backstage."
It wasn't until the next day, did they discover that Bono had stolen the show and there would never be the question of U who? again.
Joan Baez was watching Live Aid in her hotel room. She'd never heard of the band before. During their performance, she wrote, "This young man is expressing himself with such tenderness, it is enough to break my heart. He calls to the audience. They call back. He is directing a choir. They are the choir. I can't recall ever having seen anything like it in my life."
Amen.
And now, have a look for yourself.
If you don't feel like watching the whole performance, (I can't imagine), at the 6:10 mark, Bono drops his microphone with a clunk and heads off . . . into rock and roll superstardom.
At the end of the song, when Bono begins his medley of hits, he wails, "Pleased to meet you! Hope you guess my name!"
What a first impression.
And yes, I love a man who once wore a kicky mullet.
When I saw U2 in Nashville, Bono announced it had been their 100th show. He added 100 days away from their families. And I thought to myself, 100 days of traveling around the globe, 100 days of running around that stage for two solid hours, oftentimes in the broiling heat, singing at the top of his lungs and performing with everything he has.
All while in leather pants. That has to do a number on a heart.
For Bono and for my brother-in-law, the intense athlete, who is in the hospital right now with worrisome heart issues.
May your heart beat as strongly as the days gone by, when you were scaling 20 foot stages. May you both not be stupid men and suck it up. Get the help you need. Don't go off to nightclubs in Monaco and don't ride your bike 75 miles until the doctor and your heart give it the all clear. Especially, not while in leather pants.
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35 comments:
Googling the "snot" out of someone should be a patented phrase. Get on that. Hilarious.
I just love reading your posts Joann. They leave me breathless. In a good way.
For the record, news of Russell person suicide and Aidan Quinn? I would have focused on the one that's alive too.
You're killing me Joann, and I'll tell you why: I have only a certain amount of time alloted for blog reading and invariably I get stuck - can't seem to stop reading yours! You use up all my time!!! But it's well worth it because I figure I'm multi-tasking ... all the laughing counts as exercise, right?
You were completely correct to focus on the Aidan portion of the story. And you do realize if you can find yearbook photos you may be able to Photoshop yourself into them? :)
You are way too big city for Rockford. But the Aidan Quinn connection - and dreams of back seat make out sessions - is pretty cool.
Yes, Aidan is dreamy. But "Legends of the Fall" and you focus on Aidan? My dear, even though he now has gone all dirty and goat-beardy with that weird child-hungry ambassador, Brad Pitt in that movie is TO.DIE.FOR. Sigh.
Oh, I can't believe that you're in love with Aiden Quinn! He was my cosmic fiance until he got married, and now I can only lust after him in my heart! Legends of the Fall!! And directed by Robert Redford! He is my "R" for Alphabe-Thursday, that I posted last week!!
AND I know all about Rockford, Ill!!! Six degrees for sure!!!
Legends of the fall and AIDAN is what you got out of it??
Really?
Really?
Joann, I've been along with you on this whole ride for since forever...but still?
Aidan?
It's brad pitt, lovely.
All is scored away, and even, since you got it bad for Ryan, which I do, too...so now we is evened up, girl.
But, still, for awhile,...yeah, with that title.
Love you, woman.
Uh, I'm an insensitive asshole...where's my bellini? Is it bad that I was waiting for the insensitive part of the story? Sounds exactly like a conversation my sister and I would've had.
Aidan Quinn+Legends of the Fall+Brad Pitt=Need a bellini
I love your stories girl, they always put a smile on my face!
Great story! No matter the topic it always comes back to Bono, doesn't it?
Love it.
Ok, so many things. My favorite phrase: Tristan get your horse. I don't think I will ever, in my lifetime, have the chance to say that to a hunk of manflesh that might whisk me away.
Second, I can't believe you were THAT CLOSE to making out with a celebrity who went to school with your brother!!!
wow still trying to get my brain to follow yours. it's Monday morning girl! how the heck am I supposed to keep up with that train of thought?! ;)
so I was a good reader and read it three times to catch all the snarky goodness. and now I am on board. I think.
You are SO the girl I want to spend a night or two with! You are so much fun. I love that you made your own benefit, Bellinis and all. I will have to find someone to go see Crazy Stupid with. I would recommend going back to see The Help when you can breathe in the theater. It is a charmer of a different sort and I loved it.
Thinking heart healthy thoughts for your man Bono and your family member.
Enjoy the day!
Erin
Well I happen to agree with you on this one-Aiden! Brad Pitt has never appealed to me-he always looked like he needed a bath. Plus Aiden's big blue eyes got me every time.
I have been following you for a few weeks now, popping over from June's. I got to see U2 back on the Joshua Tree tour back in 1988(dang I'm old)! Loved Bono then and love him now.
That mullet is insane.
Okay. So you've tapped into something, and I think that the reason I'm falling for Bono and U2 in general is that all these videos have their wonderful music playing in the background. It's the perfect soundtrack!
Also, "And I have no idea if any of that is true, but I am excellent at making shit up." That was high-larious.
When I saw Legends Of the Fall it was already out on tape (yes, I am sure it was tape), and I watched it with a friend of mine at her rich cousin's college dude house with surround-sound-big-screen and leather recliners. We were tripping balls on mushrooms. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I wish we lived in the same city so I could sneak into movies with you and your friends.
My celebrity boyfriend is, and forever shall be, Kevin Costner. I have heard the laughs and ridicules from my friends for years, but they have done nothing to dim my great love (or lust) for Kevin.
Aidan? I get that. He's no Kevin, but he is a hotty.
I love that y'all sneaked into the other movie. And I'm glad to hear it is good, because I've been wanting to see it.
I have to say, Your boyfriend has gotten better looking over the years. yummy. but not in the "I'm going to steal him from you type of yummy". I have my own celebrity boyfriend thank you very much.,
I have to admit that I totally skimmed over the U2 portion bc (sorry) I'm just not into them.
But HEY! I lived in Rockford for 3 years!! Did we already know that? Anyway, too funny. Aiden Quinn is definitely yummy; didn't know he was from there, but every time I hear Cheap Trick on the radio I remind my husband that they are from Rockford. Or at least one of them is and his parents go to (went to?) my ex-husband's childhood church.
I would totally get out of that mess that was that benefit. It gives me anxiety just thinking about all those people, the crowds, the inconsiderate jerks saving seats for their friends (your friend excluded from judgement by benefit of her being YOUR friend). ugh. And I liked the book (loved the book) enough that I'm a little afraid to see the movie.
I really don't understand why you and Bono aren't best friends by now.
This post was amazing, you manage to capture the essence of trampy (not that way) and take us all the way on a ride through you're memories and day to day living. You are fun to be around girl, even if it's just via computer.
I too fell for Aidan back in the days of RECKLESS with Daryl Hannah, and would pick him out of everyone in Legends of The Fall.
I heart this post!
I too fell for Aidan back in the days of RECKLESS with Daryl Hannah, and would pick him out of everyone in Legends of The Fall.
I heart this post!
I feel compelled to tell you that my ex-bosses 18 year old daughter works at a poolside cafe at the Montage Resort in Laguna Beach (stay with me). At some point this summer (it had to be this summer because she hasn't worked there longer than that) a gentleman came up and announced he had a party of 10. She asked his name and he said simply "BONO." She said he wasn't wearing his trademark glasses, but that he was very nice. Maybe you need to get a summer job there too. I've heard TomKat and Suri were there too. But more than anything, best wishes to your brother in law. I hope he takes care of the heart thing. There's so much good technology out there, there's no reason not to.
This was a long, but really entertaining post. I forget how it started out though, and I'm too lazy to go back and look. Oh yes. Trampy you. I liked to make out in high school too. A lot.
Lorraine Bracco was on Top Chef for Jimmy Fallen birthday dinner? How did I miss this?
I love Aidan Quinn too. It's his eyes. His tender, soulful eyes. That man is like a fine wine. Just keeps getting better.
Hope your brother in law is doing well. As well as your Bono. And I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell off the chair after reading Karen's comment :)
I just happened upon your blog and I'm glad I did. You are funny.
--Joann,
you are not an Asshole!
Okay, I have a question for you: If you had to pick one gorgeous guy, would you pick Aidan Quinn or Bono?
You cannot have both! :) xxx
I love every single thing about this post.
Every.
I can't even name them all but to pluck a few from the masses I'll say that my emails to my sister could perhaps put the I in insensitive, and yet.
Also, I'd so much rather see Crazy, Stupid Love than The Help no matter where we would sit and with/without the Bellinis.
Plus, I had no problem tramping around with younger men in my day (Darren, Ed? I'm talking about you, loves).
And I'd always always always go for the less obvious heartthrob - if only because I'd worry that Tristan was more into his horse or himself than he was into me...(which is not to say I'd turn him down if he begged. I'm not stupid).
Finally, I hope your brother-in-law realizes what a spectacular family he is in (although the Bracco or Quinn or Fallon dynasties would be close second choices) and that he takes care of himself.
Oh yeah and one more thing:
BAD is one of my all-time favorite songs. When Bono cries out that he's Wide Awake, I get goosebumps. Every time. I already loved U2 in 1985.
And occasionally I loved younger men then, too.
p.s. Self-control is totally overrated.
Hey! My husband's from a town outside of Rockford.
Um, I don't know how to tell you this....but I have a thing for Matt Lauer. Although, him being surrounded by Al Roker and Anne Curry certainly is starting to ruin it for me.
You and your friends are bad ass. I like it.
Wow, what an entry!!! I would love to have gone to school with someone who would be famous. It would be great! And glad you enjoyed the non benefit movie. And the bellini!!
Holy cow you crack me up. Aidan Quinn is incredibly good looking, I do have to agree. Glad you got away from the retarded theaters!! I've been wanting to see that movie for awhile, and now I have someone to back me up which means I can drag Boyfriend to it. :)
Joann, you are fabulous. FABULOUS.
I want to hang out with you and drink bellinis.
Also, Brad Pitt's too skinny. And he smokes so he probably has bad breath.
Just saying.
Aidan Quinn is a hottie. But you might have ditched him for more interesting prospects - who knows the mighta beens?
well I have to say that I went to see the help last night and it was really great. but Ryan Gosling would win over just about anything!Did I mention he's Canadian?? lol
No hating here- you just went off on a tangent in your emails- it's a lot easier to talk about something fun like if you could have really dating Aidan than to talk about suicide.
I want to see both of those movies. I must figure out a way to have a bellini in the movies. Sippy cup, maybe.
Sweetie, reading your blog is like jumping down the freakin' rabbit hole. We start with Aiden Quinn and a suicide, then suddenly there is a movie review, and then, as always, it all comes back to Bono. So there is consistency within the madness and that is how I know you are stable...I think of three million things I want to say to you while reading your blog but by the time I get to the end I am dizzy and a little unfocused, so I shake my head, which totally doesn't help. This is the best I can do: Russell-I'm sorry to hear that. Aiden (Aidan?) Yum. Bono-thanks for the background, I'm checking that out. Your brother-get well soon. You. You. You. You, I love. Sisters are we. Why do I feel the need to quote that little Star Wars guy when I can't even remember his name. It's not right Anyway. Great Post!
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